Becoming Dependent

Well, we did it! We got all three girls through their first week of school. Here is a picture of them on their first day. We had our first night of Youth Group Wednesday night. Did I mention Sean was asked by our Pastor here to be the youth group leader? I am so proud of him! The first night of youth group was great! Getting through all of these things might not seem like much but let me tell you, when you are living in a third world country that is new to you, all of the accomplishments are HUGE!

Today as I was driving the kids to school, (I said I would never drive here) I was scared for our lives! It was crazy! Now hear me on this, the path to school is not a bad one (compared to other routes) and it is fairly close the where we live but my goodness, it adds 15 grey hairs to my head every time I drive it! There are lanes here but nobody uses them and there are turn signals but they are optional and I think there might be a speed limit but I have never seen one and I am pretty sure nobody else has either.

Isaiah 41:13
For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

Last night as I prepared myself for today's drive to school I realized something...... I am becoming very dependent. I am becoming VERY dependent on God! This kind of dependency is new to me. Don't get me wrong, I prayed before we came here and I tried to rely on God but it was different. Living in Colorado, I had everything I needed. It was easy to get to where I needed to go or to get what I needed. It was easy to go to the Dr if we needed. If there was ever a problem we could call 911 and trust all the people that showed up to help us. There was very little need there.

Things are different here. I completely depend on God to get us to and from school or anywhere else we are going. To bring my husband home safely from the airport at 4:00am in the morning. To protect us from getting sick if we eat something that wasn't prepared correctly. To give us strength to deal with the severe poverty that we see all around us. Strength to care for the children we work with at orphanages, some who are sick or some longing for a mommy and daddy. I have become dependent on God bringing me peace when I miss my family and friends or when our family and friends are hurting and we can't be there for them because we are so far away. I have no control here over anything.

To be honest, it is a little scary to not have control but everyday that I can give up a little more and become a little more dependent, I feel a little more peace. It is starting to make sense to me! A good friend reminded me today.......

John 15:5 I am the vine, you are the branches: He that abides in me, and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit: for without me you can do nothing.

Without Him, I can truly do nothing!